...
THE TRINITY
In a relationship there is the you and me
Making a third entity
Of the WE
We can laugh
Maybe moan and cry...
Or we can take on each day
By filling it with
The connection of you and I
Remaining on harmonious terms
Is the way to go
The oneness of our togetherness
Puts us in the know.
© Doris Ann Bridgehouse
THE TRINITY
In a relationship there is the you and me
Making a third entity
Of the WE
We can laugh
Maybe moan and cry...
Or we can take on each day
By filling it with
The connection of you and I
Remaining on harmonious terms
Is the way to go
The oneness of our togetherness
Puts us in the know.
© Doris Ann Bridgehouse
Practicing any form of meditation
Brings you closer to the you...your spirit.
If you have any questions, feel free to mail me.
Persnickety mood swings need careful observation.
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STUCK IN NEGATIVE PATTERNS
As I mentioned before, when we have been a victim of an upsetting circumstance our injury keeps us in an eternal shallowness mixed with multiple sensations. We either show our defeat outright or hide behind a façade. Our egos make us feel like a loser by reminding us of a gloomy situation. Living in an ongoing circle of misery we feel isolated and do not know how to draw a respectful boundary around ourselves or others.
Everyone has a chance to be more than they initially thought they could be, think of life as giant elastic stretching to and fro. The elastic is pliable, but when the elastic stretches beyond its limit, there is a good chance it will break. However, if the elastic is stretched slowly with care there is a good chance it will extend beyond its normal capacity. By moving forward we stretch ourselves. We accomplish longevity—substance. Yet we must always rest and go back to the beginning to relax into our original shape. We are who we are and—by understanding our infinite—we embrace our strengths and our limitations.
It is better to squeeze the best out of a day and enjoy all situations than feel bewildered and exasperated by what we thought could have been. By expanding our spiritual freedom, we are empowered. That is why we should always reflect on our actions—there are days we will be accountable for them.
Questions:
Do you allow the pressure of the modern world to strangle you? Do you obsess about something that you cannot change? Do you dwell on regret?
* Do not allow your ego to be your keeper.
TEMPTATION
Temptation is ego based and motivated by instant gratification. To be wise in the face of temptation, honestly ask yourself why are you vulnerable to the lure of a quick high? Why am I doing something that is so different from what I need?” Change the path you are on. Invest in a rich full life by living in the moment, find joy in your relationships, educate yourself, learn a new hobby, and connect to humanity’s wonder.
DESIRE
The definition of desire: A wish, a craving for urgent gratification, a desperate yearning, a feeling that one lacks something or a profound need to make one’s life feel fulfilled. The desire convinces a person their wantonness is special
Desire needs to feed itself to stay alive. Note the ego is guiding you when you have an overwhelming urge to make decisions on what feels good in a weak moment, instead of making a decision based on something steadfast. Under this circumstance one will never feel grounded or satisfied. Soon individuals become hypnotized and caught in a paradox to justify their desire. Do not indulge a desire without reflecting. Ask if your actions are hurting someone.
ENVY
Why do people rarely envy strangers but easily envy those close to them, such as a family member, friend, or coworker? We may envy someone’s lucky break, although many of us would not want the shadows connected to another person’s life. On the other side of the coin, it seems people are never happy with what they have. They usually want what they thought they had in the past or hope that future events will take them out of their misery.
Envy is your ego whispering you have not measured-up to an expectation. Do not allow envy to weigh you down. Observe how your thoughts fuel envy and keep you melancholy. Break the back of envy; acknowledge the successes and the joys of others. This action will liberate you from your ego.
ADDICTIONS
The definition of addiction: a practice or pursuit through overuse. The public recognizes there are many forms of addictions. To name a few: drinking, smoking, gambling, excessive spending, sexual promiscuity, and eating disorders. Also, some people are addicted to being a know-it-all, watching television, playing video games, or obsessing with cyber-space.
Addictions begin from the bottom of one’s psyche. If someone has gone through some type of traumatic incident, (see Chapter III, “Traumatic Change”) they may self medicate—hoping to end their pain. Their trade off is living in a senseless limbo —alone and barren.
Physically abusing someone is another form of addiction. When perpetrators lives are empty and out of control, they focus on controlling others. Hearing someone screaming or pleading gives them a sense of power, although momentary. This power is similar to a drug high.
After the incident, they usually ask for forgiveness (another power play). But their violence must escalate. For their new high needs the element of surprise to retain its power—further deadening one’s spirit. At this juncture, they have closed the ability to move forward and some type of intervention is needed.
However, one cannot force anyone into making changes. No amount of love, begging, withdrawal, punishment, or crying can make a difference. Unfortunately, there are no deal breakers. And pressuring someone could make matters worse. One has to take a step toward change for his or her own salvation. I suggest anyone who has an addicted loved one to visit Al-Anon. This organization services help individuals to understand the addict’s persona and the challenges they will be facing in his or her relationship.
GUILT
Wikipedia’s definition of guilt: Guilt is the state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, wrong, or the feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, etc., whether real or imagined.
After making a mistake most of us feel guilty. If indeed there was a mistake, own it—apologize. Question if you are keeping your psychological guilt feelings alive. This is my guilt buster. Never delay an awkward moment. If necessary, make a compromise and happily do so.
Example 1: Guilt and Illness
Let us suppose a long time friend—someone who helped you in the past—is currently in the midst of the blues. She rejects your invitations and ignores your telephone calls. When she does speak to you, she wallows in self-pity repeating the same monolog—woe is me. And she refuses to take advice.
You have had it with her excuses, and as far as you are concerned her therapist is not helping her either. You want to give up, but a tremendous guilt feeling envelopes you. You feel you are leaving your friend in the lurch.
Not every friendship survives life’s challenges, and not every friend can come to one’s rescue. Question yourself deeply. Do you accept your friend’s place in life—regardless of the hard work involved or would you rather move on? Make a decision—hence guilt disappears.
Example 2: Guilt and Relationship
I know a couple who has lived together for ten years—the last five years they have been engaged. The groom hesitated to rush into matrimony. Finally, the wedding date was set. As the bride planned her wedding, she thought about her commitment. She realized that she no longer loves or is interested in marrying her fiancé. She is contemplating calling off the relationship. Yet she feels guilty wasting all those years. She does not know what to do. She hates the thought of disappointing her family and friends.
For years the bride lived in a comfort zone. She never bothered to question the depth of her relationship. She was fixed on the idea of marriage. Once her wish came to fruition, she started to focus on what is. Her guilt comes from distress of change and hating herself for making an error in judgment.
She needs to free herself. Admit she is no longer in love with her man. I believe if one does what is absolutely right for oneself—selflessly—his or her actions will be right for others.
Example 3: Guilt and Neighbor
My friend, Olivia, lives in an up-scale condo neighborhood where animals are not allowed to roam. Unfortunately, she is having a problem with a neighbor’s cat. The cat continuously relieves itself in her yard. She mentioned to her neighbor—as amiable as possible—she would like her to keep her cat out of her yard. The neighbor replied, “Cats tend to roam.” She waited two weeks. Nothing changed.
Olivia feels guilty about going to the condo association to complain. She does not want to cause trouble. But since her neighbor is uncooperative she has no place to turn. By bringing a problem to the surface, my friend should not feel she is creating ill will. Think, when someone has enough nerve to do something they are not supposed to do, the rest of us have the right to speak-up.